I’m just a natural flirt, but I don’t see it in a sexual way. A lot of the time I’m like an overexcited puppy.
– Kylie Minogue
Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do.
– P. J. O’Rourke
Flirtation is an art, and a carefully used social tool that is attracting many youngsters for quite some time. Why do human beings flirt? They do it in order to establish a connection, to assess the interest of the other party in reciprocating that connection.
Not all flirting is done to set up a romantic or sexual encounter. But yes, it helps us in finding out and realising its potential of converting into a romantic relationship.
All said and done, flirtation has its set of challenges and uncertainties. But that is the beauty of it, as it sometimes prolongs the excitement and the mystery of it developing into a ‘mere friendship’ or ‘relationship’.
Are there any rules in flirting? Does a lingering glance at each other mean the same in social and sexual encounters, or is it different? A glance, a touch, a casual movement signifie s which of the two between social and sexual? Oh man, this is getting into the skin of it.
Understanding Flirting – Decoding Various Styles
Human relationships are complex, unique and are filled with new desires in work zone. There are five styles of communicating an interest between a guy and a girl. Here they go:
In this technique, men are expected to make the first move wherein they request the date or offer to buy a drink. Doesn’t it sound like the classical gender one-upmanship?
Further on, men belonging to this category seem to know their partners for quite some time before approaching them romantically. That is why they proceed slowly and focus more on developing non-romantic relationships before acting on the ‘desire’ front.
Women who are flirts by choice tend to less likely flirt with partners and/or to be flattered by flirting.
[Also Read: 9 Signs That You Are an Independent Woman]
As goes the word, the physical style hints at sexual contact done through verbal messages. This style of flirting involves suggestive talk where individuals don’t mind expressing their desire and sexual interest to potential partners. Individuals who fit this style often get into private and personal conversations and are more prone to establishing a relationship and sexual chemistry.
Neat and clean, this style is more of creating an emotional connection with a potential romantic partner. It involves developing intimacy by showing personal interest and emotional chord with a partner, not sexual interest.
Playful: These types of communicators see flirting as ‘fun’ and not binding to any relationship. This is going into a bindaas terrain, since it helps the partners to enjoy the act of flirtation, never mind the lack of long-term romantic prospects.
As you can make out, flirting varies from context to context and humans adopt the strategies that are best suited to the situation.
Finding the Level of Flirtatiousness
Well, here are some ways to find out if your “flirting” is edging into sexual territory. Answering “yes” to some of these questions doesn’t necessarily mean you’re moving towards the sexual orientation. It just means you need to be self-reflective and watch out.
- Is your “flirting” overtly sexual (i.e. making explicit comments about their appearance, talking about what you’d like to do with them over a candle light dinner) even though this person has never expressed sexual interest in you?
- Are you the one doing most of the talking?
- Are you in a position of power or authority as compared to the person you’re talking to?
If you’re a willing participant in a flirtatious exchange, and not conscious of where it will ultimately lead to, you are in the territory of romantic advances. Never mind, happy flirting!